


Sometimes things need to be rebroken to be properly healed

by ImJustSoGay



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: F/F, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:20:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25992793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImJustSoGay/pseuds/ImJustSoGay
Summary: Beatrice helps someone with similar experiences, which in turn helps her heal from her own pain.
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Comments: 7
Kudos: 137





	Sometimes things need to be rebroken to be properly healed

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not generally a writer, but I was really feeling this. I’m not well versed in Christianity (last time I went to church was a lifetime ago) and have not interacted with a nun in a hot second so things might not really be realistic. Also, I know technically OCS is in Spain, but as a stereotypical American I’m too lazy to see what their education system is so I mention high school, elementary school, and graduation without any regards to what they look like in Spain.

Sister Beatrice is on her way to her quarters to change for evening training when she hears it. Crying from the chapel. Not many people use their chapel other than the nuns, Mother Superion, Father Vincent, or Cardinal Duretti when he visits, so when Beatrice tentatively looks in, she expects to see a familiar face. Instead, she finds a young woman, slightly younger than herself, kneeling in the pews clutching something desperately in her hands. Her heart reaches for this girl and, as her commitments to God and serving His children come before training, Beatrice decides to sit with the girl.

Beatrice walks quietly towards the front pew where the girl is. She takes the time to be in awe of the architecture and intricate details of the design. Every time she looks at it, she finds something new. Depictions of Areala’s battles. The angel Adriel sacrificing his own immortality for the cause. Sister nuns dying in the face of evil.

“May I sit with you?”

The girl looks up, but quickly looks away. “Oh, Sister, yes of course.” She sniffs.

Beatrice puts a gentle hand to the girl’s back and offers a handkerchief, which the girl takes. “What is your name?”

“Marian” She wipes her tears away.

“Marian, I’m Sister Beatrice. You don’t have to talk to me, but I’m here if you want to. No judgements, no pressure. If you would like me to leave, you can tell me.”

She nods and sniffles once again.

After a few moments of silence, Marian comments “You might be the youngest nun I’ve ever met.”

Beatrice gives a small smile. “I took my vows when I was 18, younger than most.”

“Why did you decide to become a nun? Especially so young?”

Beatrice pauses, deciding what to share. “I was a disappointment to my family. They sent me to Catholic boarding school, and it stuck.”

Marian looks away again.

“…do you ever doubt…? Does anything ever happen, and you wonder ‘why did He let this happen? This shouldn’t be a necessary step in my journey.’”

Beatrice sadly sighs and replies “I see difficult things every day. We all have been through difficult things. He tests our faith, but he never gives us more than we can handle.”

Marian opens her hands to reveal a picture. It shows Marian in a graduation cap and gown and a slightly taller blonde girl, around the same age, wearing a black dress. They’re embracing and look happy. Tears are running down Marian’s face again.

“We took this at my graduation,” Marian starts. She breathes to calm herself. “We went to the same high school, but I’m a year older than her. This moment was a bittersweet one. I’m moving away for university and she’s staying for her last year. Things were going to have to change between us, but she was so happy for me.”

She flips the picture around. In neat handwriting it says:

> _“You came into my life, declared ‘I’m here!’ and never left my side. Even though we won’t physically be together next year, I will never leave your side._
> 
> _Love,_
> 
> _Hannah”_

Beatrice starts to understand what this is about and her heart clenches.

“We started off as friends, you know. We had orchestra together and I would help her with things. Then one day we started actually getting to know each other. It felt like it was meant to be. We had a history before we even met. Turns out we went to the same elementary school. We had gone to the same events without even knowing. Then, as the year progressed it became more than that. We both knew we were playing with fire; both our parents are severely homophobic… But every time I looked into her eyes…”

Marian begins sobbing again and Beatrice feels the glue that has been keeping her together for all these years start to melt. She finds herself bringing the girl in close to her, allowing her to cry into her shoulder, as she whispers it will be ok. Between sobs, Beatrice learns that their parents found out. Hannah was grounded and forbidden from speaking to Marian ever again, and Marian was disowned.

When the sobbing dies down, Beatrice holds Marian by the shoulders and looks into her eyes.

“You aren’t broken. You aren’t abnormal. You don’t need to prove your worth. You are valued and you are loved. This isn’t your fault.” The words Beatrice needed to hear when she was in the same position. “The church has failed you and your parents, for what is God if not for unconditional love and joy? You might not feel it now, but one day you will be happy again. This hurts more than anything now, and it will always hurt, but you will find the strength to survive it.”

“What if I have lost faith in God?”

“Whether or not you choose to have faith in Him, he will give you the strength to overcome. He will lead you to new happiness and growth that you would not have found otherwise. And He will always love you.”

“But He is the one who put me in this position.”

“People who defile His words and spread hate in His name do not understand what it means to be a true Christian. They are not His actions.” 

Marian nods thoughtfully. It is getting late, the sunset is making the stained glass windows shine beautifully.

“Do you need a place to stay?”

Beatrice leaves to get Father Vincent to organize a place for Marian to stay. She leans against the cold stone wall and takes a moment to recollect herself before climbing the stairs to his office. Once she’s explained the situation to him, Father Vincent is more than happy to permit Marian to stay in a guest room. They go down together, show Marian around, and let her get settled in her room.

“You can stay here for as long as you need.” Father Vincent says.

“Let us know if you need anything.” Beatrice says and before she can close the door, Marian jumps up and gives her a hug.

“Thanks,” Marian says, “for everything. I really needed to hear everything you had to say. Maybe God led me here to meet you.”

She releases Beatrice and gives her a sad, but sincere smile. Beatrice closes the door. It takes all the strength she has to not break down right there, but she manages to follow Father Vincent down the hallway.

As they make their way back downstairs, Beatrice finds herself at her limit. She stops and asks “Father, may I have permission to make up my training tomorrow? I would like to pray and meditate for Marian.” He nods in understanding and they split directions.

She’s not even in her room when the glue that’s kept Beatrice’s heart together for years completely dissolves. She feels her own past and her own hurt shatter inside. Beatrice’s usually composed exterior crumbles as she relives pains that she sought to put behind her.

“Beatrice?” She hears softly behind her. Ava.

Ava sits on the floor next to her, enveloping Beatrice in a hug.

“What’s wrong Beatrice? What happened?”

She helps Beatrice up and guides her to her room. Beatrice feels safe for the first time in years to fully make herself vulnerable.

Over the next few hours Beatrice allows herself to share her heartbreak. Her alienation from her friends and family. The doubt she held within herself. The helplessness she’s felt.

Ava’s presence mends cracks and helps rebuild Beatrice’s foundation. Ava provides the comfort and understanding that Beatrice always needed. When it’s all over, they sit in silence together. Eventually, Ava finds a completely exhausted Beatrice sleeping in her arms. Peacefully, at last.

**Author's Note:**

> Please give me criticism!!!  
> I feel weird about the ending. I wanted the emphasis to be on Marian and Beatrice which was why I wrote all that out but not the specifics between Beatrice and Ava. Let me know what you think though.


End file.
